Another one gone.

Another one gone. 
So I had been talking to this guy named Adam. And I think I could fall in love with him. I really think I can but there's a slight problem... He's 32 and I'm 20. So he's 12 years older than I am. But that doesn't mean anything. I mean he made me happy and made me laugh! He made me feel beautiful and made me feel cared for and protected. It was so nice talking to him almost every day and night. But he ended things about 2 weeks ago because there was a change in our plans. His wife got pregnant. Yep. His wife. He's married. And they're expecting their first baby. So we stopped talking to each other for a few days but we couldn't stay apart from each other, and we've been talking. I saw him for the first time him and I met was last Saturday, and it was amazing. We just sat around outside on the porch, and talked and cuddled. We ended it with a kiss, and I loved it! :D I'm getting addicted to him and its crazy! I love hearing his voice! I love waiting for him to message me or talk to me. I've been waiting all week to see him and hoping that him and I would get some private time alone with each other. So we could just cuddle and stay in bed all day. <3


But unfortunately, he told me last night that he doesn't think him and I should see each other anymore because he needs to behave for the next 7months and when the baby comes. He said that he is falling for me and he could see himself being in love with me, and that's not good. I don't understand because I can see myself falling for him too, but we both know that we can't fall in love with each other. Because he's married and I know that he wouldn't leave her for me. I just wish him and I had more time to spend together. 


But he said he might come see me today, but I already know that if he hasn't come by now, than he's not coming at all. So I guess he's completely made up his mind and wants nothing to do with me. So this truly sucks. He even seems to be avoiding my texts, and stuff :( I guess things are completely done with Adam. 


Well I wish him a good life. And I need someone who can be all mine, not someone I have to share. I know that Adam will be a good father. But right now it's time I care and love myself. And one day I'll be able to find the man of my dreams. Adam was close to being him, so that must mean that I'm very very close to finding my true love! Yay!


It's time to think positive!


P.s. I want to be a mom. I want to get pregnant, preferably with someone I love, and I want to start my life as a mom/housewife. 


Maybe one day! :]